06 Jun 2019
#ComicBytes: These Marvel superheroes are simply too dumb and lame
Marvel has an extensive collection of characters who inspire and motivate readers to do the right things and never give up.
But when you have these many characters, there is a high possibility that some of them could turn out to be, well, not that impressive.
Some Marvel characters are just too dumb to be taken seriously.
Here are some in their full glory.
A penny for your problems?
There are some people so rich that no matter what problem they face, they just throw money on it.
Poor J Pennington Pennypacker used to be an accountant but a scientist experimented on him and made him a dumb superhero with the powers to literally shoot pennies out of his wrists.
Thus, the Almighty Dollar was born. The only relevant question is: why though?
Like Batman but way worse
Night Thrasher has been rebooted now but let us talk about his earlier dumb self.
His origin story is quite similar to Batman's in which he saw his wealthy parents' murder at the hands of a criminal
However, instead of becoming a cool masked vigilante like Bruce Wayne, he became a lame skateboarding hero who tries to fight with ill-executed martial arts moves.
Some of the most useless powers of all time
Douglas Aaron Ramsey (Cypher) is only dumb by superhero standards. He is actually quite intelligent when compared to normal human beings.
His powers are understanding any language including alien's.
So he can basically communicate with anyone and importantly, he is also great at computer programming.
Except, he would appear super dumb doing so in front of villains like Ronan or Thanos.
A cool power with a stupid condition
You know what is a cool power? Being able to generate seismic vibrations and mini-earthquakes.
You know what isn't? That those powers would only work if the person was super hyper drunk!
This is the sad story of X-Statix member Gin Genie (Beckah Parker).
Because she can only use her powers when drunk, she becomes a liability for every team. She's dead now, though.
In Hindsight, no one actually likes Hindsight Lad
This is one superhero with no superpowers.
He usually irritates the actual heroes by saying things like "if only we had things my way, they would have worked!"
He calls himself Hindsight Lad and the dumbest thing he ever did was blackmailing the superhero Speedball in order to join his team.
He also leaked identities of various superheroes during the Civil War.