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15 Sep 2018

#HappyEngineersDay: Read it only if you are an engineer

Engineers' Day: May our tribe grow!

How many software engineers do you need to fix a bulb? Zero, because it is a hardware problem.

Engineer: I want H20. Common man: I want H20 too. He died!

There are only '10' kind of people - ones who get the above jokes, ones who don't.

Cliche much? Of course, it is.

This article is as stereotypical as it can get, because a uniquely similar engineer has written it. Read it only if you are an engineer.

In context

Engineers' Day: May our tribe grow!
If it isn't broken, take it apart and fix it

Engineer's motto

If it isn't broken, take it apart and fix it

You must have seen a bunch of people who have next to zero fashion sense, are sometimes socially awkward, who crack random jokes, get offended if you think Mars can't be colonized in next 10 years?

Or who are always arguing, sometimes insult you unintentionally and just don't understand if you don't love number series?

You will always find them 'fixing' something, even if it is not broken.

Yes, we are talking about engineers - the quintessential cattle class.

Unity, you see

"Mujhe na branches ke naam dikhayi dete hain, na sunayi"

Our tribe is not rare (or inert), as a matter of fact, we are everywhere.

Sample this: In a media house like ours, we have at least 70% engineers, writing content. Engineers are journalists today; a metallurgy engineer is the CEO of the world's largest technology company, Google; mechanical engineers are bankers; Chetan Bhagat is a writer. You get the drill, don't you?

But, we all are uniquely binary.

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We judge you if you use 'Tab' and 'Space' inter-changeably

Coz it is sacrosanct

We judge you if you use 'Tab' and 'Space' inter-changeably

For the most part, we have designed our lives fairly simple.

Tell an engineer that global warming would kill the world, he will yawn and think it can be fixed.

Tell him that the humans are getting increasingly polarized, he would smile, analyze Facebook's algorithms in his head and think how naive you are.

But, try convincing him 'Tab' and 'Space' can be used inter-changeably, and he will kill you!

Our subtle humor

We can do anything with more "frequency" and less "resistance"

Pompous as it sounds, engineering is not a field of study, it is instead a way of living.

Every engineer even in 'un-high' state thinks he can fly. We are acutely aware of the aerodynamics behind our imaginary wings. That doesn't deter us, though.

There is absolutely nothing we can't do, not because we are a lot talented, but because we are trained to do everything with more "frequency" and less "resistance".

You see our 'electrifying' humor? That's what keeps us going.

But, nothing makes us more productive than "last minute"

Story of our lives

But, nothing makes us more productive than "last minute"

In college, at workplaces or even in life, we have been doing most things at the absolute 'last minute'. Our productivity is inversely proportional to the time left before the deadline.

But, don't get us wrong. We don't deliberately procrastinate, we are just more efficient.

We are also the best planners, we can plan to the last nanosecond before the deadline. But, we always deliver, last minute notwithstanding.

Truth be told, world certainly needs more creatures like us! Happy Engineers' Day to all you nerds and geeks.

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