#ComicBytes: Five Marvel superheroes who have lame powers
What's the story
Marvel made a name for itself in the comic universe by creating some iconic characters. Spider-Man, Iron Man and the likes will remain immortalized in the fantasy universe of Marvel. However, there cannot be good without bad, and in its prolific run, Marvel has had its share of lame superheroes with hilarious powers who are extremely inept. Here, we present Marvel's five lamest superheroes.
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Is that a cow? Is that a vampire? It's Hellcow
Some things don't go together: A combination of a cow and a vampire is one of them. Bessie was created by Steve Gerber and Frank Brunner. It is a cow who got bitten by Dracula and turned into a vampire. Donning the name Hellcow, Bessie is one of Marvel's most ridiculous concepts. Hellcow teamed up with Deadpool to take down Kilgore, a mad scientist.
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The Phone Ranger: The first response team with no superpowers
With a name like The Phone Ranger, there never was much hope for this hero. Having discovered alien tech while working as a telephone repairman, Bell built a suit that let him connect with all existing telecommunications devices. However, the first response hero lacked the powers to control situations, and died in the line of duty but was resurrected to work in tech support.
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Hindsight Lad: Powerless, he just finds flaws after analyzing situations
It is a philosophical fact that structures can only become clear in their retrospect, but it does not make Carlton LaFroyge or the Hindsight Lad any less annoying. His only power is analyzing situations after they have happened and finding flaws in them. While retrospection is important, it is no superpower. Completely useless and arrogant, Hindsight Lad is arguably Marvel's most punchable character.
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Jazz: He's blue and raps, doesn't do much else
Why a blue mutant rapper would be named Jazz is a mystery I will never solve. Nonetheless, Jazz is hands down the most useless character on this list. His only specialty is that he is blue. Jazz, eventually figured out he was done being a hero, and turned to deal drugs. A failure at that as well, Jazz was killed by a voodoo doll.
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Squirrel-Girl: She talks to squirrels, is that even a power?
Doreen or Squirrel Girl is one of the most laughable characters in the Marvel Universe. Her only power is controlling and communicating with squirrels. Obviously, no one takes her seriously and Marvel surprisingly has a laugh at the readers' expense by making her one of the most powerful characters in the universe. Notably, in a fight as reported in comics, Squirrel Girl defeated Thanos!