'I'd collapse, cry for hours': Vijay Varma recalls depression battle
What's the story
Bollywood actor Vijay Varma recently opened up about his battle with anxiety and depression during the pandemic-induced lockdown. In a conversation with actor Rhea Chakraborty, he revealed that he felt extremely lonely and afraid during this period. He credited Aamir Khan's daughter Ira Khan and his Dahaad co-star Gulshan Devaiah for being his support system during this tough time.
Isolation struggles
Being alone for months was tough
Varma shared, "I was all alone in an apartment in Mumbai. Luckily, I had a small terrace...I could see the sky, be with the elements. Otherwise, I would've gone mad." He added that being alone for months was tough, and he felt extremely lonely and afraid. "And then one day, I realized...why can't I move from my couch for four days? What's going on?"
Support system
Khan and Devaiah were my support system: Varma
Varma revealed that during this tough time, Khan and Devaiah were his support system. "At that time, Ira and Gulshan were like my little support system. Ira was assisting on Dahaad, and we had all become good friends during the shoot." "We'd video call each other on Zoom, have dinners, that was our circle. But I kept deteriorating. Ira was the first to point out, 'Vijay, I think you need to start moving a little.'"
Therapy journey
I eventually spoke to a therapist: Varma
Varma added that he eventually spoke to a therapist because he was unable to move. "I met her on Zoom and was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, pretty severe at that time." He said the therapist suggested medication if things didn't improve. "Both brought everything to the surface. I'd get on my yoga mat, and by the third or fourth Surya Namaskar, I'd collapse, crying for hours without knowing why."
Family guilt
Varma on guilt of leaving home for work
Varma also spoke about the guilt of leaving his home for work. "A part of me still regrets it. When you leave, your family misses you. I never made peace with that." "I sometimes wonder if my decision, though right for me, was right for everyone else. You put yourself out there for 10 years, away from family, to do what?" "But now, when I see the joy and pride they feel, it makes sense."