How to express an apology the right way
What's the story
Sincerely apologizing is one of the most underrated skills to keep our personal and professional relationships healthy. But despite that, most of us fail to deliver apologies that actually reflect our remorse. We either use defensive tone or don't take full responsibility. This article discusses how to avoid all that and write genuine apologies that would be received exactly the way you mean to.
Defensive language
Avoiding defensive language
When you apologize, it's important to avoid defensive language that can sabotage your sincerity. Saying things like "I'm sorry if you were offended" shifts blame onto the recipient instead of acknowledging your own actions. Instead, concentrate on saying you're sorry for specific behaviors without justifying them. This shows accountability and helps restore trust.
Full responsibility
Taking full responsibility
A sincere apology involves taking full responsibility for your actions/words. Don't use qualifiers like "but" or "however," it dilutes the apology's impact with excuses. Be clear on what you did wrong, and accept the consequences of your actions. This transparency helps in understanding and opens the way for resolution.
Genuine regret
Expressing genuine regret
Expressing sincere regret is more than just saying "I'm sorry." It's important to empathize, to understand how you affected the other person both emotionally and practically. Get specific to show that you understand how they feel and how you're willing to make the situation better. Doing so will not only show that you're sorry but also that you're committed to fixing things.
Plan for change
Offering a plan for change
An effective apology also comes with a plan for change so that the same behavior doesn't repeat itself. Outline concrete steps you'll take to address the issue at hand, be it personal reflection or seeking external support if necessary. By demonstrating a commitment to improvement, you reinforce your sincerity and dedication to repairing the relationship.