Sonali Kulkarni was 'jealous' of Tabu for winning National Award
What's the story
Actor Sonali Kulkarni recently opened up about her feelings of disappointment and self-doubt when she lost the National Award for Best Actress to Tabu in 1997. The award was for Gulzar's Maachis, while Kulkarni was nominated for Amol Palekar's Daayra. Speaking to SCREEN, she admitted to feeling "angry and jealous" at that time. However, watching Tabu's performances helped her overcome these insecurities.
Consistent nominations
'Year after year, I was getting disappointed'
Kulkarni revealed that her films were regularly nominated for the National Film Awards. "Every year, my films were considered among the best films in the final rounds of the National Awards. Year after year, I was getting disappointed," she said. "And that was the time when I really wanted a National Award." "I was winning others, but what you don't get, you crave the most."
Jealousy and anger
'It helped me deal with the insecurities...'
Kulkarni confessed that she felt "jealous" of everyone who won awards, including Tabu. "I was so angry and jealous of Tabu that I finally went and watched Maachis," she said. "When I watched her films, it helped me deal with the insecurities and the desperation I had." "Her performance not only gave me joy but also had so much command it helped me come to terms with my own life and abilities."
Evolved understanding
On her evolving understanding of acting
Kulkarni also spoke about her evolving understanding of acting. "At the beginning of your career, you want to perform all your emotions with intensity." "You don't know what's subtlety. It's now that I'm understanding what's it to be subtle, what the difference is between theater acting and film acting." She added she has "no complaints now" and has come to terms with herself more than anything else. She finally won a National Award in 2002 for Kranti Kanade's Chaitra.