Why can't even privileged women move out of abusive marriages?

If one knows about abusive relationships rather off-handedly, one tends to assume that the victim is always weak. Why can't she call it quits?

After all, a bold, educated and privileged woman should have the strength to quit the abusive marriages/relationships. Correct? Nope.

The fact is you stay because you cling on hope, you believe that your abuser is capable of changing, if only you give them one last chance. But they never do, do they?

You rationalize the situation. "What if I didn't talk back?" "Oh, I also lost my temper." "He had a bad day at work."

Multiple studies show that abuse (whether physical or emotional) is cyclic in nature. Not everyday is toxic, not every moment is hate filled. There are good days, and a small kind gesture by the abuser is magnified multiple times in your head.

Hence, leaving the abuser is not an event, but a process, sadly for which no one has ever prepared you.

Domestic abuse and emotional abuse go hand-in-hand. Often times, your abuser turns the situation and makes you believe that you are at fault. You start questioning your own sanity.

Psychologists call it gaslighting, and it can happen to anyone. An educated, highly independent woman can be made to believe that 'she asked for it'.

You don't even realize it is not your mistake, much less act on it.

As a society, we crave for permanence, stability that a marriage is supposed to bring. We have also not been taught to embrace failure.

A failed marriage is a taboo, no one wants to talk about. You also fear that no one will understand your side of the story.

Add kids into the dynamics, and you want to give it all to 'save' it.

It is hard to break a relationship, much harder to break a marriage, because you don't know what lies at the other end of the road.

You are physically, emotionally, and often times financially dependent on your abuser. And, it is not easy to start all over again.

You shudder at the thought of living alone, a part of your brain also blames you for the sour relationship.

The reality of abuse is far more complex, and it is outside the scope of this writer's experience to do justice to it.

But, I know that the victim is not at fault. The abuser will not change their behavior. Someone, who loves us, can never harm us.

My closing thoughts, "Everyone is busy empowering women. Who is preparing men for these empowered women?"