Mother's Day: 5 mothers share their deepest desires
I remember seeing my mother toil all day long for us. Our brains as kids got so used to seeing her this way, that every time we saw her do something for herself, it felt odd. That's how much mothers dedicate themselves to their kids, which of course isn't healthy. Becoming a mother tends to have this effect on women.
It's not like they don't want to pay attention to themselves, but there are simply too many reasons why they aren't able to. On the occasion of Mother's Day, we talked to some mothers and asked them what they really want.
Manisha Das, a mother of two and a homemaker, wants what most moms desire—a day off from all the duties. Her older daughter is 24 and her younger one is six. She raised one kid and when it was time for her to devote time to herself, she practically has to do it all over again for another child. That is stressful!
"I want to take a weekend trip, away from the buzz for at least one day, and spend some me-time where I can just concentrate on myself and my well-being," she says.
Seema Singh, a working mother, wants to get rid of the mom guilt. Even though she tries to manage it all, something or the other goes wrong. "My daughter sometimes fails to carry certain items to the school simply because I was too busy to read the messages her teacher sent. And when she tells me that, I feel like a failure," Seema says.
Her story is similar to thousands of other mothers who are trying to balance work and home, but end up stressed and tired and never reach a stage where they feel like they have done enough. The same thing happens when they go out for a drink with friends, leaving behind their kids at home. Mom guilt goes several notches higher.
The struggle gets real at the workplace. Basudha Das, a single mother, wants companies to stop singling out mothers for the burden of responsibilities they bear at home. Being the lone caretaker, financially also things aren't easy for her. "I want gender pay balance and equal opportunities for mothers. Government should have a special tax slab for single and working mothers," she says.
Malvika Saxena, who has struggled with weight issues in the past, doesn't want to pass on the insecurity to her daughter. "I want to be fit and healthy, but I don't want my 5-year-old daughter to think that only thin is beautiful," she says. "Because I have been eating healthy, she thinks it's because I am fat and I hope to reverse this notion."
Then there are mothers like Madhabi Manjari Basu who simply want their kids to spend time with them. "I would prefer my daughter spends quality time with me. We would talk, cook, and plan for the coming days. As she's very busy with work, she barely spends time with me," she says. "I have grown older, so nothing matters more than time and care."
