NewsBytes Briefing: Apple pulls a Xiaomi with advertisements, and more
What's the story
Apple had recently taken great pains to warn us about its evil Big Tech brethren and their evil advertisements. Looks like it forgot to heed its own warnings.
Apple quickly followed up its anti-advert tirade by, well, adding invasive ads in the settings menu of its $1,000-worth phones. Not even the search bar in the App Store was spared.
So much for "premium" experience.
Cosplaying at work
Zoom adds the one thing missing from telecommuting: Comedy filters
Accidentally shaved before a job interview? Assuming a fake identity to hide criminal record from a prospective employer? Well, Zoom has you covered.
Now you can spice up boring work meetings by adding AI-powered Instagram-esque filters, replete with an assortment of beards, mustaches, and skin tones right off the Pantone chart.
The only question we're left with is: Who the hell asked for this?
Talking to strangers
Instagram shows how to safely put your children at risk
Even as the Silicon Valley technocrats take great pains to protect their kids from the poison chalice otherwise known as social media, Zuckerberg and company have graciously released an initiative showing parents how to safely put their little ones at risk on Instagram.
They even got suicide-prevention professionals on board to help you expose your kids to the leading cause of teen suicide.
The backbreaker
Meme laptop packs in more screens than some airports
Expanscape describes its Aurora 7 "laptop" as a "mobile security operations workstation".
However, its massive 12kg heft also provides unintended physical security. Because anyone determined enough to steal something this big would have better ROI spiriting away an ATM machine instead.
You know the makers went overboard with their seven-screen laptop when you figure out that they completely forgot about the eighth screen.
Diamond hands
Reddit raises millions to further confuse normies with internet memes
What was once a sanctuary of neckbeards, weeaboos, and other assorted misfits—whom you most likely had bullied in middle school—has suddenly become a household name.
Even as boomers frantically look up what the news anchors mean by tendies and diamond hands, Reddit has raised an eye watering $250 million to further blur the lines between the real world and subreddits spilling into it.