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Home / News / Lifestyle News / What is a lavender marriage? (and how does it work)
Lifestyle

What is a lavender marriage? (and how does it work)

What is a lavender marriage? (and how does it work)
Written by Lahari Basu
Edited by Anamica Singh
Feb 21, 2022, 12:34 pm 3 min read
What is a lavender marriage? (and how does it work)
There are websites where one can seek a partner for marriages of convenience.

Homosexuality might have come out of the closet in the past few years, but social acceptance still seems far fetched. Have you heard of lavender marriages? The concept sprung decades ago to overcome this very fear of acceptance. It was adopted by several homosexual and bisexual celebrities in the early 1900s to save their career. Let's explore the concept in detail.

Definition
Describing lavender marriages

A lavender marriage is assumed to be a marriage of convenience to mask the sexual orientation of one or both partners. The term was used to describe certain celebrity marriages in the early 20th century. However, individuals from all walks of life have used this method of convenience over time. There are websites where one can seek a partner for marriages of convenience.

Information
Context

In a BBC article published in 2017, those who participated in lavender marriages said that they had a marriage of convenience giving in to family expectations, and to keep up an image, among other reasons.

Recent example
'Badhaai Do' reclaimed lavender marriages

Rajkummar Rao and Bhumi Pednekar-starrer Badhaai Do made people sit up and take notice of this concept. Rao plays a gay police officer who marries Pednekar, a PT teacher who is a lesbian, to fend off family pressure. They go through several ups and downs after the wedding, leading to their sexuality being revealed and how their families react to the entire thing.

Other examples
Other on-screen representations of a 'marriage of convenience'

In Fashion, we see a gay designer asking his female model friend to marry him, giving in to his mother's requests. Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd. shows a homosexual man who married a heterosexual woman to evade an arranged marriage. The web series Made in Heaven shows Karan's apparently queer landlord, Mr. Gupta, stuck in a marriage of convenience because he could not defy society.

Agreement
Is it lavender marriage if one participant is unaware?

"When at least one or both participants is queer, and both are aware of the arrangement it is lavender marriage," says Sumedha Mandal—a queer-identifying social worker. "But, in case one is completely unaware, then there is no mutual agreement to this idea of convenience." "The way the term is used in the present scenario, it has to be an informed decision," she added.

Quote
Bottomline

"Lavender marriages sound lucrative in a country like ours where it is difficult to openly form and maintain same-sex relationships. The existing inequality between the male and female in marriage itself, creeps into the picture and makes a mess for the female," Mandal added.

Problems
What are the complications?

Mandal opines, "Lavender marriages to camouflage same-sex relationships from our families and society can seem like a hassle-free idea, but in reality they are much farther stretched than that, as the institution of marriage is thoroughly embedded in patriarchy." "Also, with time both families expect childbirth on the way, and the couple is subjected to tremendous pressure."

Gender roles
Things get messier for the woman

"Usually, when two queer individuals decide on an MoC, the freedom, mobility and choice for the female participant are more at stake, owing to gender norms." "This gets further complicated if the couple stays with the guy's family, where it becomes difficult for her to physically meet or spend time with her partner." "The pressure of children again befalls more on the female participant."

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Lahari Basu
Lahari Basu
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Having worked in the media industry for six years, Lahari currently writes Lifestyle stories for NewsBytes. Before this, she worked with Microsoft News and Dainik Bhaskar group. An avid traveller, home cook, crocheter, and movie buff, Lahari is always on the lookout for good food, colourful yarns, innovative and thoughtful cinema, and cats! With words as a weapon, nature as strength, optimism as fuel, and an undying thirst for discovery, she is out on a lifelong journey to seek and experience the unknown.
Anamica Singh
Anamica Singh
Twitter
Anamica Singh is a lifestyle editor at NewsBytes. Having started as a sports journalist, she has covered entertainment, national and international news over her 14-year-long career. She is experienced in news writing, video production, anchoring, and voiceovers. Her past stints include her time at Mobile ESPN, IANS, and MSN. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Political Science from the University of Delhi and a postgraduate diploma in journalism from YMCA, Delhi.
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