How to set healthy boundaries with your partner
What's the story
Knowing how to set boundaries is one of the most underrated social skills you need to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner. It is equally important to be able to respect your partner's boundaries too. Read on to know how to precisely set boundaries that protect your physical, sexual, mental, emotional, and financial well-being, without being disrespectful to your partner.
Values and beliefs
Know what you want in a relationship
Enforcing boundaries in a romantic relationship can be hard, especially if you don't know what your needs are. Start with reflecting on your values and beliefs. Find out what you value the most. Is it independence, privacy, or productivity? Once you gain an insight into what you want from your relationship, you can begin to formulate the boundaries you need.
Communication
Openly communicate your needs with your partner
Once you know what boundaries you want to set, communicate them to your partner. The mistake people often make while setting boundaries is that they keep it to themselves. They assume that their partner would know about their boundaries just by the virtue of being together for years. Do not expect your partner to read your mind, instead explain your boundaries with utmost honesty.
Listening skills
Listen to what your partner needs
A healthy romantic relationship works on the give-and-take principle. If you are expecting your partner to respect your boundaries, it becomes imperative for you too to listen to their needs. A relationship is a two-way street, so keep your communication channel open from both sides. You may not want to share account passwords, and they may not like PDA, so adhere to both concerns.
Put it into force
Enforce boundaries but be flexible
Avoid compromising your boundaries for the sake of your partner's comfort. If you truly respect your boundaries, your partner will too. It may be uncomfortable initially, but if your partner genuinely wants to be in your life, they will value your decision. If your partner happens to cross over one of your set boundaries, remind them again firmly and calmly.
Space
Let your partner know when you need space
There are times when you would want to be alone. If you have been spending a lot of time with your partner lately to the point of being enmeshed, take some time out for yourself. Be sure to let them know about when you need your me-time. Spending time with yourself is just as important as having quality time with your significant other.