Hate confrontation? Follow these five tips
The feeling of confronting people can sometimes get intense. Many try to avoid this feeling leading them to fear confrontation. Either they don't want the drama, or it makes their heart pound. Whatever the reason, not confronting people when they are in the wrong could lead to much more damage than actually confronting them. Here is how you can overcome this fear in relationships.
Identify your fears
Analyze the way you think in the face of a possible conflict. Identify all the reasons why you avoid confrontation. Is it the fear of being perceived as rude? Or, is it the fear of losing something or someone? Remember that it's okay to feel that way. Making a list will help you gain some perspective and allow you to calmly assess your behavior.
Realize the benefits of standing up for yourself
The fear you experience before confrontation may pose a barrier for you to stand up for yourself. To overrule your fear, think about all the things you would gain by dealing with a conflict. It could possibly turn the situation in your favor, prevent you from being pushed by others, or make you more confident the next time something similar happens.
Play out all the 'what ifs'
Playing out all the possible outcomes in your mind can help ease the fear. This is different from catastrophic thinking. Catastrophic thinking involves hyper-fixating on the negative outcomes, but here you play out all the possible outcomes, both negative and positive. When you do so, it will help your brain realize that you will be fine no matter what the outcome is.
Confront using the sandwich approach
If you are still not accustomed to the sandwich approach, here's what it means. Before confronting someone, you appreciate them first. Then you share your concerns and feedback and then again talk about the positive things about them. This way of sugar-coating eases the natural defensive reaction in many people, and you get to confront them more amicably.
Practice, practice, and practice
The only way you can ease your anxiety in relation to anything in life is to expose yourself to that thing. You have to expose yourself to more confrontations to become less afraid of them. If you have an annoying roommate, try to confront them constructively. You can also stage out the confrontational conversation in front of your loved ones if you need to.
